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DC and the dating game
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06/10/2008 21:08
pixi 
06/10/2008 21:08
pixi 
DC and the dating game

Now there's a topic you didn't expect to see! (I even searched for it to make sure it hasn't been discussed before).

As a single woman in my early thirties, I'm quite self-conscious about my DC and Ledderhose. I've stopped painting my nails bright colors, and I catch myself covering my affected hand. I've also been wondering if and how to bring up these conditions with dates and, eventually, a significant other. My friends and family tell me you can't notice it unless you point it out, that everyone has something etc, etc; but I keep thinking this is a life-long condition a partner should know about from the onset, especially since I can pass it down to the children I'd like to have. It makes me sad to think about it even though I know there is so much in life to be grateful for.

There's probably no use worrying about this until someone special actually comes along, but it would make me feel better to hear how those of you in similar situations have handled it. Thanks!

06/11/2008 04:38
Randy_H 
06/11/2008 04:38
Randy_H 

Dup-re-turns

Dear Pixi,

To be honest I had similar concerns when I started to date my wife a year and a half ago. The truth is, unless the disease makes you unable to do normal things with your hands, people don't notice. They just don't. You may be overly self conscious abut this. You are quite aware of it but new people in your life will not be. It's not that big a deal.

Sure you'll need to tell the guy about this, but in my opinion not until you are in a exclusive relationship. If he does ask about it, don't make it into more than it is. By that time if the guy is really interested it will not matter to him.

"Yea, I met this girl, and everything was going great until I found out she had.......a........ Dup-re-turns. I mean, what did she expect. That I'd still want to go out with her??" :-)

06/11/2008 11:40
pixi 
06/11/2008 11:40
pixi 
Re: DC and the dating game

Thanks for the much-needed laugh, Randy, not to mention the reality check! Good to hear she's your wife now.

06/13/2008 00:35
Megan 
06/13/2008 00:35
Megan 
Re: DC and the dating game

Pixi,

I'm sorry you feel that way...but honestly, I don't think people look at other people that closely. For example, I had a nose job about a year ago to remove a big bump from my nose.....and not one person noticed (well, one did ask if I had gotten a hair cut).

So far as Dupuytrens, as I mentioned in another post, my grandmother had it (but it was never diagnosed); her hand was somewhat contracted and she couldn't crochet as she got older. This isn't my imagination....I have told my two sisters about DC and they've looked at stuff on the internet and they both agree with me that our grandmother had it. When I got diagnosed, I wrote my aunts (my grandmother's daughters) and cousins and told them about it....just a little head's up since it's genetic...and I mentioned in the email that I realize now that "grandma" had it. One of my aunt's wrote me back: "Megan, what Grandma are you talking about. I don't recall anything about my mother's hands." !!!

Megan

06/15/2008 11:03
pixi 
06/15/2008 11:03
pixi 
Re: DC and the dating game

Thanks, Megan. My main concern is that I have developed it so young, even if it is only the knuckle pad at this stage which I think is quite visible (and the Ledderhose, which is very visible if I show the soles of my feet!) It comes down to fear of what's ahead and how this thing can progress. I'm waiting for my radiation appointment, so I will have lots of questions for the doctor.

I really appreciate the pep talk!

06/16/2008 01:24
Megan 
06/16/2008 01:24
Megan 
Re: DC and the dating game

Hi Pixi,

I hope you didn't think I was trying to minimize your concerns. I, too, have had a lot of fear about where this could go, although I'm handling it a lot better now than when I was diagnosed.

I think the biggest difficulty for me has been the question, "how could someone as healthy as me develop a degenerative disease?" I'm a bit of a health nut. I've always walked and jogged, kept me weight down, and thought that I eat an extremely healthy diet, at least compared to most westerners. I seldom drink alcohol and use gobs of sunscreen...even here in Seattle, where the sun doesn't shine so much!!!. Sometimes I've wondered, well, if this is wrong with me, what else is wrong?

Anyway, I have become a bit more vigilant about what I eat and I have almost completely eliminated refined sugar from my diet...just to see if it has any effect (this has been going on for one month). I have also been taking NAC and I'm trying to incorporate more raw vegetables into my diet. It might be my imagination, but I do think the nodule has flattened and is a bit softer.

I would have felt very alone with this if I hadn't stumbled onto this forum.

06/16/2008 01:35
JAnnRunner 
06/16/2008 01:35
JAnnRunner 
Re: DC and the dating game

Pixie and Meagan,

I also Never paint my nails and keep them short and wear no rings on my hands ( mainly because it draws my attention to my hands not others) I have never had anyone say anything about my bent fingers and I have been dealing with this since my twenties. I think it bothers us because we are so healthy in all others ways and we have control of our lives- what we eat, exercise, health, careers, etc... but we can Not control or cure this!!! I am in my late thirties now and it is such a small part of who I am, in fact it has made be a stronger person and more aware of my health and taking care of myself and I work harder than others to do certain things but the rewards are worth it.. hang in there you will see things are going to be OK.. J Ann

06/16/2008 10:33
pixi 
06/16/2008 10:33
pixi 
Re: DC and the dating game

Thanks, Megan and JAnn. No, don't worry; I know you weren't trying to make less of my concerns. You're all in this boat with me!

I am very healthy, too -- I'm even in a rowing crew, which of course poses a whole new set of worries regarding my hands.

I really should cut down on my sugar intake. It's the only thing I have difficulty controlling in my diet; I just love dessert! Good news on the NAC. I have been taking lecithin every day for about six weeks now, and what looked like the beginning of a new knuckle pad has gone. Time will tell...ditto the search for Mr Right!

06/18/2008 22:39
Issleib 
06/18/2008 22:39
Issleib 
Re: DC and the dating game

I had been married 30 years before my Dupuytrens but I also have alopecia. That means I'm bald. I have been in wigs since I was 19. It was no secret where I worked and we met. I'd lost my wig. Hung it up when sleeping on call. Melted one on my head under a proceedure warmer and hung one on an IV pole so I wouldn't melt another. I had pulled the curtain around the patients bed but x-ray came and just pulled it open witout warning!!! It really didn't make a difference and it much more obvious.

The last time I lost my wig in a sudden gust of wind my daughter and I were laughingly chasing it across a parking lot and an elderly lady with a walker grined and saud I guess it's OK if I laugh too.

Don't fret, Really

Colleen

06/19/2008 05:06
pixi 
06/19/2008 05:06
pixi 
Re: DC and the dating game

That's really funny, Colleen, thanks for sharing. Thank God for this forum; you are all amazing!

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